so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize