It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
