After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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