two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
