i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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