You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
