Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
zippers are such a cool invention
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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