wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
