Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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