He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Blood and glitter go together right?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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