Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
