Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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