i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
