Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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