That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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