Where is the hickey?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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