You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
