I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You're like the curious george of whores
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
