Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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