So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
