By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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