He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
