Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
A bitchslap is in order.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
