I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
