Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
