All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
