just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
