her vagine was all disorganized.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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