And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
