it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
