ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
