You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
