You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
