How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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