we have officially lost it.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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