He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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