so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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