But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
