dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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