the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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