tell your sister to shave her snatch
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
