he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
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