I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
