There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
