their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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