my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
well you can't waste a boner
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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