people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
