she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
