They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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