I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
