There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
we're so committed to being not committed
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
