one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Say something about gay babies.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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