i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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