She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
