i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
