Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
