did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
