Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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