Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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