Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
