Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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