problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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