i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
