Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
